Dependent.

After a whole year of feeling happy for them and they had to split up right before New Year!! Is the world really coming to an end? For the pass year, I have placed much hope and happiness for this couple. And now I hear the news of them splitting!! I am heartbroken. Upset. Wrecked. Whenever I read the news or watch telly and seeing them being happy, it cheers me. I feel their happiness and I am genuinely happy and cheered up. I wished and hoped for them to be together until old age, until death do they part.
The news of their break up is all over the web. I am devastated. I saw them as a couple that can break all odds and still be together. And for like 100times I had prayed in my heart that all this is a scam, and they would come out tomorrow or the day after and announce that they are still together. But no matter how much I wished and hoped, when such news spread in Hollywood, it can't be a lie. No matter how much I loved them both together, I can't make any changes. I can only dream and pray for them. My beliefs were dependent on the fate of their relationship. For a year I believed that they through odds can stick together no matter what, so can I. I have lost it all. All the nonsense that I have created to console myself, to cover the holes in my heart. All gone. You might say I am dumb, silly and crazy for pinning my hopes in this couple that are under the limelight and many say they are a weird match. But I did. I am an odd ball, so I was attracted to them. I loved them. I bought books about them. Unfinished books which I have no idea whether I can finish it without thinking of them.
I want to be a free soul, an individual. I don't want to be tied down by anything. It weighs my heart down to a point where breathing has became so tough. And yet I do not have the courage to make things right for myself. Now I can call myself useless.